1
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<i>This is the Milky Way. A nice galaxy.</i>

2
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<i>875 billion, trillion people live here.</i>

3
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<i>Yes, it's a nice place to live.</i>

4
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<i>It's my job to keep it that way.</i>
<i>I'm a space cop.</i>

5
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<i>My name's Monday.</i>
<i>My partner's name is Tuesday.</i>

6
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<i>He always follows me.</i>

7
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<i>It was Wednesday, January 23, 10.26 p.m.</i>

8
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- It's 10:28.
<i>- Like I said, it was 10.28 p.m.</i>

9
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<i>We were returning from a routine</i>
<i>investigation in the Big Dipper area.</i>

10
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<i>A 7-12, malicious mischief.</i>

11
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<i>Schoolchildren had blown the ring</i>
<i>off Saturn.</i>

12
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<i>When will parents learn to keep uranium</i>
<i>out of their children's reach?</i>

13
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Yeah, when?

14
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<i>10.34. Headquarters called.</i>

15
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<i>Calling prowl-jet 36, prowl-jet 36.</i>

16
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<i>Come in, 36. Over.</i>

17
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- Joe Monday.
- Over.

18
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<i>Joe, it's the flying saucer bandit again.</i>

19
00:01:41,822 --> 00:01:44,518
<i>First National Bank of Jupiter. Report in.</i>

20
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Wilco.

21
00:01:46,293 --> 00:01:49,228
<i>Wednesday, January 23, 10.42 p.m.</i>

22
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<i>It's 10.46.</i>

23
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<i>Like I said, 10.46 p.m.</i>
<i>We returned to Headquarters.</i>

24
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Isn't modern science wonderful?
People used to have to use stairs.

25
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<i>10.52. Back at the old desk,</i>
<i>waiting for a call from the chief.</i>

26
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<i>Half a cop's life is spent in waiting.</i>

27
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<i>10.53. The chief calls.</i>

28
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<i>Joe, come right over, please.</i>
<i>I need your help immediately.</i>

29
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Right.

30
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<i>My interview with the chief was brief</i>
<i>and to the point.</i>

31
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<i>He wanted me to find out</i>
<i>who the flying saucer bandit was...</i>

32
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<i>and then to place him under arrest.</i>

33
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<i>I consented.</i>

34
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<i>11.07. We proceeded</i>
<i>to the scene of the crime.</i>

35
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<i>11.21. Checked in</i>
<i>at the scene of the crime.</i>

36
00:03:38,538 --> 00:03:40,938
<i>The crime robots were on the job.</i>

37
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<i>They were searching out</i>
<i>and collecting vital bits of evidence...</i>

38
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<i>picking up suspicious footprints,</i>
<i>gathering up all significant objects.</i>

39
00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:53,185
<i>No clue was too small</i>
<i>to escape their notice.</i>

40
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,385
<i>12.15 a. m... We returned to headquarters</i>
<i>with the clues.</i>

41
00:03:58,525 --> 00:04:01,722
A cop's life
isn't all beer and skittles, you know.

42
00:04:05,999 --> 00:04:10,231
<i>Now all the facilities of a great,</i>
<i>modern crime lab were brought to bear.</i>

43
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<i>We identified the name of that song.</i>
Mother Machree.

44
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<i>We proceeded to the Machree file.</i>

45
00:04:39,332 --> 00:04:41,027
<i>It was a long one.</i>

46
00:04:41,968 --> 00:04:44,232
<i>We finally found what we were after.</i>

47
00:04:46,673 --> 00:04:49,540
<i>This criminal was so clever,</i>
<i>he'd never been suspected of anything.</i>

48
00:04:49,609 --> 00:04:51,474
<i>The case was beginning to heat up.</i>

49
00:04:51,544 --> 00:04:54,377
<i>Our next step</i>
<i>was the Crimino Detecto set.</i>

50
00:05:01,488 --> 00:05:05,618
<i>Machree was found to be</i>
<i>at Elsa 's Blast-lnn, selecting a sandwich.</i>

51
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<i>12.40 a. m... He selected</i>
<i>a pastrami on rye with mustard.</i>

52
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<i>That figured.</i>

53
00:05:14,467 --> 00:05:17,834
<i>We didn't have much time.</i>
<i>He was a notoriously fast eater.</i>

54
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<i>1.07. He left the Blast-lnn.</i>

55
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,234
<i>1.08. We arrived at the Blast-lnn.</i>

56
00:05:23,309 --> 00:05:26,506
<i>Our deductions later proved</i>
<i>that we had missed him by one minute.</i>

57
00:05:26,579 --> 00:05:28,809
<i>1.09. We set out in pursuit.</i>

58
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:42,259
<i>10.23. We lost him</i>
<i>in a large smog bank over Los Angeles.</i>

59
00:05:50,537 --> 00:05:52,767
Hey, Joe, get a load of this.

60
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<i>All right, Machree.</i>
<i>We know you're in there. Come on out.</i>

61
00:05:59,813 --> 00:06:03,010
<i>Like all criminals,</i>
<i>he had an elaborate alibi prepared.</i>

62
00:06:03,083 --> 00:06:06,541
I didn't do nothing.
Like I said, I didn't do nothing.

63
00:06:07,887 --> 00:06:11,254
<i>This case was brought to trial</i>
<i>April 23, 10.00 a. m...</i>

64
00:06:11,324 --> 00:06:15,055
<i>in Ultra Superior Court, 13527B,</i>
<i>department of astral justice.</i>

65
00:06:16,496 --> 00:06:17,929
<i>As a result of this trial...</i>

66
00:06:19,399 --> 00:06:22,368
<i>the two arresting officers were</i>
<i>sentenced to 20 years for false arrest.</i>

67
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Thirty years.

68
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Like I said, 30 years.

69
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